The truth is, I loved my job. I loved everything about how each day was different. I loved the fact that I had some control over what I did. For the most part, I was happy, or maybe I was just complacent, who knows. I'm not sure what version of the truth I have explained, after all, there are many sides to a story. But what I do know is that I have told my truth. Truthfully? Resigning sucks!
I knew that there was a possibility that I would regret it - even if it was just for a moment. But I also realized that I needed things to change, not just for myself, but also for those I worked with. After all, people don't quit jobs; they quit poor management. This was 100% the case with me. There is something difficult about leaving a place where you feel comfortable. No one tells you that when you resign, you'll have all these feelings that you can't really express. When you've spent a number of years working for an organization after you leave that organization, your phone rings just a little less, and you start to wonder if the connections you had with people we're ultimately a farce.
Some people think that you have to hang out with people after work in order to consider them to be friends. I don't know about most people, but even my friends I couldn't spend 9 hours with just to spend an additional 3 to 4 hours with. Unlike most workplaces, my coworkers and I talked about more than just work. We talked about what we liked and didn't like. We talked about our latest Netflix binge. We discussed depression, and sadness and celebrated birthdays. We gave gifts for the holidays and not because of any office party, but because we wanted to. We were more than surface-level people. My director and I had a lot in common. She loved art and anime, and so did I. The same for my former director.
My former DOT, who took the role of a coworker who passed away, was one of the most extraordinary people I have ever met in my entire life. He was profoundly kind and funny and intelligent. He was covered from head to toe in tattoos, and he would often joke that many people in the corporate world didn't think much of him. But when I say that he was a remarkable individual, I mean it. He was very open and receptive to listening. He was compassionate, and above all, he valued your opinion - he valued my opinion.
Hell, even the guy I don't like had many things in common with me. Both loved computers, both were camera enthusiasts - except I am a published photographer, not a novice. I would trade tips on exposure and aperture. The bookkeeper and I would discuss things to make the place better. We would talk about her family and her husband who was also an apprentice in my program....
And now I feel like Bruno, and we just don't talk about Bruno.
I thought heavily about my resignation weeks to months before I resigned. To be honest, I didn't want to quit. I just wanted to be happy; I wanted my coworkers to be happy. After all, we are people, and despite the term coworker, you spend most of your life with these people, so yeah, leaving my team behind was difficult. Not because of work - forget about the job for just a moment, strip everything back to the human aspect. Part of me thinks I would have stayed if my organization had a human resource department or someone who was in charge of the human aspect of work.
Bottom line, When you leave a place - any place; mourn what was and what will never be, but move on. ♥
I know I will✌🏽
